


Unexpected

by aces_low



Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Explicit Language, Fluff and Humor, Kissing, Lots of kissing, M/M, Marine Corps, One Night Stands, Tattoos, very slight canonical mentions of homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 14:27:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13660893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aces_low/pseuds/aces_low
Summary: Nate just wanted a simple one night stand, he hadn’t expected Ray Person.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have been wanting to write a NateRay story within the canon timeline for a while, and then I also wanted to write a story where Nate and Ray meet, have a one night stand and don't really do that right, so I kind of combined them to make this.
> 
>  
> 
> Characters are not meant to represent the real men, this is based on the characters from the HBO War series.

This is a bad idea. 

Nate knows it is, knows he should just go home and go to bed and not risk his entire career and reputation for a one night stand that may not even happen. But it’s coming up on a year since the last time he’s been with anyone and the thought of shipping out again before that happens is exactly what has led him to a gay bar a few miles away from where he lives.

He’s been back stateside for a while, but he’s been spending that time with family and friends and getting his life in order since he’s been away. Now, there are only four days until he’s meant to report for his next assignment and VJ is gone for the week, so really, it’s now or never.

The place isn’t packed and he’s able to find a seat at the end of the bar easily. He orders a drink and the bartender eyes him over, whether because he doubts Nate is of drinking age or because he’s interested, Nate isn’t really sure. So, he just grins and nods and looks out toward the room.

Now that he’s inside, the squirming in his stomach settles a little. Getting caught inside a gay bar allows for some mutual insurance that getting caught outside of one doesn’t really grant.

There are a few people in the corner on the slated wooden floor that is apparently meant to be a dance floor. It’s not a club, but it’s different from the bars he used to go to when he was in school. He starts to look at the people there, trying to see if any of them catch his eye when someone drops down beside him.

“Fucking finally,” the guy says, sounding exasperated.

He’s short and slight, but his T-shirt shows off biceps that aren’t all that small, as well as a couple tattoos that Nate can’t quite make out in the darkened room. He’s got short, dark hair and big, brown eyes and Nate is about ready to turn on some charm when the guy just keeps looking annoyed at him.

“I’ve been waiting here for like two goddamn hours,” the guy continues.

Nate quirks an eyebrow at that and looks around for just a moment, to ensure he is definitely talking to him.

“Uh, I think you’ve got the wrong guy,” Nate says, a little disappointed that this guy is clearly already meeting someone here.

The guy eyes him up and down before a wide, toothy grin stretches across his face.

“No, you’re definitely the right guy.”

“I’m sorry, man, I don’t know you,” Nate insists, he would remember this guy if they’d ever met before, he knows it. 

Leaning forward and quirking his eyebrow, the guy says, “would you like to?”

Nate is stunned silent for a moment before he pitches his head forward with a laugh. The guy looks satisfied with Nate’s reaction as he smirks and leans back a little on his barstool. 

It’s been a while since he’s had a line used on him and Nate is actually pretty charmed by the approach, not that it would have taken more than the guy coming over and introducing himself to get Nate interested.

“I’m Ray, by the way,” the guy, Ray, says once Nate has stopped laughing and wiped his eyes.

“Nate.”

Ray grins and leans forward again. “Ya know, I wasn’t lying before when I said I’d been waiting for two hours. I’ve been here just waiting for someone at least kind of close to my age to come in.”

Nate looks out at the group of people again, realizing that Ray is right, from what he can tell, most of the people there look much older than them.

“You’re…what? 21? 22?” Ray asks, nodding his head to the bartender who’s just set a drink down in front of him.

Nate picks up his own drink and says, “25, actually,” before taking a sip.

Ray raises his eyebrows and grins. “Look, I’m not gonna narc if you’re not 21 yet, but take it from someone who’s had a fake ID since he was 17, go with a believable age.”

That makes Nate chuckle again, this is not a new problem for him. “Seeing as my birth certificate says I was born in ‘77 I’d say 25 is pretty believable.”

Rolling his eyes and setting his drink down, Ray leans back again. “Hey, I don’t really care as long as you’re over 18…you are over 18, right?”

Nate scoffs, he doesn't look _that_ young. “Yeah, by seven years. How old are you? You barely seem legal to drink yourself.”

“I’m 22, perfectly legal for all sorts of adult things. Except renting a car in most states,” Ray says, waggling his eyebrows suggestively at all the incorrect parts of that response.

That just makes Nate laugh again, and he has a feeling that this is going to be a standard response to spending time with Ray.

“So, a fake ID since you were 17? There’s no way you were able to pull off looking 21 when you were 17,” Nate says after a minute.

Ray shrugs. “No, I really just used it to get into the one gay bar that my town had. They all knew I wasn’t old enough, but they’d let me in, the bartender would give me soda and people left me alone and kept the creepy guys away. I think they knew I was just trying to figure things out for myself. And let me tell you, small-town Missouri isn’t an easy place to do that.”

“Well, that was nice of them,” Nate says, thinking about being 17 and wondering if he’d had a place he could have gone to at that age if he would have admitted some things to himself much earlier. “I didn’t go to any kind of club or bar until college.”

“Is that right now? Oh shit, is this your first gay bar?” Ray asks, tone mostly joking now.

Nate rolls his eyes and grins. “I went to college at Dartmouth, actually. Graduated and everything.”

Ray lets out a low whistle. “Impressive, smart and pretty. I’m already interested, Nate, you don’t have to go so hard.”

He can’t help the wide grin that Ray’s words incite and he ducks his head to try to hide just how easily he responds to the guy. Of course, when he looks up at Ray again it’s pretty clear he hasn’t been able to hide that at all, Ray’s smirk is prominent and his eyes are dark.

His skin feels warmer with those dark eyes on him, and his stomach is squirming in a completely different way than it had been before. He realizes he’s just licked his lips - a nervous habit that always seems to double as an indication of interest – when Ray drops his heated gaze to his mouth.

After a minute of them both just staring, Ray blinks his heated gaze away and clears his throat.

“So, uh, what brings you to California?” he asks.

“My roommate is out of town,” Nate blurts out, mind still focused on Ray’s obvious interest.

“Oh…what?” Ray blinks some more, clearly trying to catch up with Nate’s change of subject.

Nate grins sheepishly. “Sorry, uh, would you like to come back to my place?”

Ray’s eyes widen a fraction. “You-yeah, sure, yeah. Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever been picked up this fast. I thought you’d want to talk for at least another hour.”

“It’s not that I’m not enjoying talking to you-“

“Nate, I promise, I’m not offended at all,” Ray says, motioning to the bartender, who seems to understand that he’s ready to close his tab.

He maybe should be more embarrassed, he’s only known Ray for ten minutes and he’s already inviting him back to his place, but it’s been almost a year and Nate can’t stop thinking about wanting to know how many tattoos Ray has under his shirt.

Ray gets his card back and Nate leaves a tip and his half-finished drink behind. 

“Did you drive?” Nate asks, only now wondering about the logistics of getting to his place.

But Ray shakes his head. “Took a cab, you?”

“I’ve got my car,” Nate tells him, and Ray nods and follows him out.

“Ok, I’m only asking this because Brad made me promise I would, but you’re not gonna kill me, chop up my body, and shove the pieces down the garbage disposal, are you?” Ray asks as they approach the car.

Nate quirks an eyebrow up. “I’d never do that to my pipes.”

Ray blinks at him for a moment before letting out a loud, cackling laugh. They just stand there grinning at each other for a moment, before Nate remembers he has to unlock the car doors if they want to actually go anywhere.

He’s just about to get in when he realizes Ray is still just standing next to the passenger side door.

“You never did actually answer about the killing me part,” Ray says.

“Oh, no, I promise I won’t kill you,” Nate says. “Unless you try to kill me, at which point, all bets are off.”

Ray grins. “That seems fair.”

He follows Nate into the car this time. It’s a little awkward now, trying to make conversation knowing that they’re only doing it because they’re stuck in a car and not a private room together.

“So, uh…who’s Brad?” Nate asks, scrambling for anything to talk about as he pulls the car onto the parkway.

“Hm? Oh, just my friend who I’m staying with right now and thinks I’m just asking to get my throat slit in an alleyway by going out to meet people.”

Nate nods. “So, not a boyfriend then?” he asks, only now worrying about some jealous guy showing up at his place.

That makes Ray laugh. “Oh, god no, that would require Brad to admit that he’s not as straight as he claims to be and be willing to fuck someone that’s not a prostitute. Seriously, that’s how anti-relationships he is, he won’t even hook up with a rando at a bar, he doesn’t want someone getting the case of the feelings, he’s gotta pay for that shit.”

The drive is longer than Nate would prefer, his skin feels prickly and warm whenever he can feel Ray’s eyes drift over to him and he drums his fingers on his steering wheel whenever they get stuck at a red light. 

Just as he’s sorting through conversation topics in his head Ray blurts out, “I just had a full physical exam last week, so I’m…ya know, good to go.”

Nate raises his eyebrows and turns to look at Ray who is grimacing right back at him, probably due to the unexpected outburst.

“Good to know,” Nate says with a nod, glad to have the topic broached, it would have had to happen eventually. “Me too, for both, actually.”

Ray quirks an eyebrow before nodding his head and turning to look back at the road ahead of them. It is odd that they’ve both apparently just had physical exams recently, but Nate doesn’t think much on that coincidence.

They pass the next few minutes with inane chatter, or, really, Ray babbles and Nate listens with surprisingly rapt attention to Ray’s theories on why each street they pass is named the way it is. Nate doesn’t think of himself as callous or rude, but he’s never really needed to have a good conversation with a person in order to sleep with them. While he hadn’t needed to even get past learning Ray’s first name before he’d been ready to take him home, Nate is finding he likes listening to him talk anyway.

“Not to keep harping on this issue,” Ray speaks up again after a minute of silence between them. “But you did promise that you weren’t going to kill me, and it’s starting to feel like you’re planning on crossing state lines to do that exact thing. While a sound strategy, it does go against your promise.”

“I’d need to be driving east if I was headed for the state line,” is the first thing that pops into Nate’s head, but remembering that Ray probably would appreciate an explanation he continues. “Don’t worry, we’re just a couple more minutes from my place. I, uh, wanted to go somewhere a little farther away from where I live for…discretion.”

He clenches the steering wheel and keeps his eyes on the road, not wanting to see the judgmental look he’s sure he’ll see in Ray’s eyes from that confession.

Instead of judgment though, Ray just says, “that makes sense. That’s kind of what I was doing there too.”

That makes Nate turn to look over at him, but he’s quickly distracted by Ray’s dark eyes, barely illuminated by the streetlights outside and he presses down on the gas just a little bit harder.

 

Nate almost cheers in relief when he finally turns his car onto his street, thankfully, it seems he’s not the only one nearly crawling out their skin as Ray already has his seatbelt undone and his hand on the door before Nate has even put the car in park. 

They walk up to the house as slow as either can stand, trying to look normal, to both the neighbors and each other, not touching at all, just in case someone is watching.

As soon as the front door is closed behind them Nate shoves Ray up against it, muffling the sound of Ray’s surprise with his lips. He should have kissed him back at the bar because right now he’s acting a little desperate like he’s dying of thirst and Ray’s mouth is the only source of water for miles. Thankfully, Ray seems to be matching his pace, wrapping his arms around Nate’s neck and pulling him in.

Nate’s hands move to the hem of Ray’s shirt, tugging the material lightly. He moves away just a fraction, still able to feel Ray’s heavy breathing ghosting along his lips, to murmur, “ok?”

Ray nods almost frantically. “Yeah, ok, fuck.”

He leans up again to kiss Nate hard, only letting go when Nate pulls his shirt up over his head.

Nate takes a step back, eyes scanning Ray’s surprisingly muscular torso, finding that there are, in fact, more tattoos scattered along his chest. He reaches out, running a finger across one of the stars under his left collarbone before leaning back in, lips attaching to Ray’s neck, moving down to leave a sucking kiss to one of the tattoos.

Ray lets out something like a half laugh, half moan, breathless and amused. “I should’ve known it was my tattoos that got you.”

Not moving away from what he’s doing, Nate murmurs against the skin of Ray’s chest, “is that a problem?”

“Fuck no, you can be into whatever you want as long as you keep that mouth on me,” Ray says, hissing and arching up as Nate drops down to his knees. “Shit.”

Nate does as Ray requested, keeping his mouth busy against the tender skin of his lower belly as he tugs on his jeans, realizing a moment later that Ray isn’t wearing anything under those jeans. He quirks an eyebrow up, but Ray just shrugs.

“One less step, right?” he all but gasps out, eyes keeping an intense focus on the small space between the tip of his half hard cock and Nate’s mouth.

He can’t fault that kind of logic.

Nate reaches up to stroke Ray a few times, looking up at Ray, whose eyes have gone completely dark as he watches Nate intently. 

“It’s been over nine months since I last gave someone a blowjob,” Nate informs Ray, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious at the possibility that it’s going to take him some time to warm up.

Ray’s eyes almost seem to soften through the lust-filled gaze and he nods, moving his hands behind his back before leaning even further against the door.

Nate grins at the small gesture and decides not to tease Ray before taking him in his mouth. Which immediately garners a sharp gasp followed by a low, broken groan.

It takes almost no time for Nate to find a familiar rhythm and get used to the weight on his tongue, mostly fueled by how responsive Ray is. 

Ray is good, other than the slight, involuntary jutting of his hips every now and then, he lets Nate control the pace. Until, Nate reaches up for one of Ray’s hands, dragging it over to rest against his head. Ray follows his silent instruction well, letting his fingers rest against the back of Nate’s head, holding just tight enough to guide Nate the way he wants without forcing it.

“Fuck. Your mouth,” he moans and Nate tries not to smile.

Apparently, nine months with no practice is not too detrimental to Nate’s blowjob skills, as after just another minute Ray is attempting to pull his hips back and muttering, “fuck, Nate, I’m gonna come.”

Nate considers just continuing on, but he has a better idea. 

Sliding his mouth off of Ray, he continues to work him through it. Ray seems to understand Nate’s intent and he attempts to keep his eyes trained on Nate as his come hits Nate’s lips and chin. 

Ray groans then and lets the back of his head hit the door he’s still leaning against.

Nate waits for Ray to look back down at him before licking his kiss-bruised lips and Ray lets out a small whining noise as he watches.

“What the fuck? You say it’s been months and then you give head like that?” Ray asks, eyes following Nate as he stands back up.

Nate grins. “I guess it’s like riding a bike.”

Ray reaches up, letting his thumb swipe against Nate’s chin, then brushing it against Nate’s swollen lips. Nate goes to lick his lips again, this time catching the pad of Ray’s thumb for a moment before leaning down to capture Ray’s mouth in another bruising kiss.

Ray’s arms wrap around and up to hold Nate tight against him for a moment before he moves his head back an inch.

“Why the fuck are you still wearing clothes?” he asks, already tugging at the hem of Nate’s shirt.

Nate raises his arms, helping Ray lift his shirt up and off, before kissing him again.

While Nate’s main concern is about sucking Ray’s tongue into his mouth, Ray seems more focused on getting Nate as naked as he is.

He’s distracted by Ray’s mouth enough that he barely notices when his jeans pool around his ankles, it’s only when Ray pulls away, and he instinctively tries to follow, that he’s made aware of what Ray is trying to do.

Ray lets his mouth explore Nate’s neck and collarbone, moving down to run his teeth across Nate’s nipple, just enough to make him hiss in anticipation of the pain. 

Nate leans his head back against the wall Ray has pushed him against and lets Ray take control, other than helping pull his briefs down and off. 

“Fuck,” Ray says, stealing Nate’s line before leaving a sucking kiss right below his stomach. 

He takes Nate’s already aching cock in hand and begins to stroke it slowly, looking up at Nate with those big brown eyes that Nate already knows he’s weak for.

“God, even your dick is pretty,” Ray tells him.

That startles a choked off laugh out of Nate. “Th-thanks?”

Ray grins up at him. “Don’t worry, it’s a compliment.”

Just as Nate had spared him, Ray opts for no real teasing, other than a few licks to the head that make Nate shiver.

His mouth strokes easily back and forth three times, each time going farther and farther down before Ray bottoms out, his nose the only thing stopping him from going further, and stays put, swallowing around him. 

Nate’s eyes roll back for a moment and he feels his hand run through the top of Ray’s short hair. He starts to pull it away, to allow the same courtesy that Ray had shown him. Only, Ray makes a noise and yanks Nate’s hand back into place. 

“You-you…fuck,” Nate breathes out, voice thin from not only the first blowjob he’s had in months but possibly also the best blowjob he’s ever had. And he doesn’t think it’s the time away from them that has made him lower his standards. 

Ray continues to pull back only to bottom out again and it takes almost no time for Nate to come down his throat, Ray humming around him as Nate strokes the side of Ray head with his thumb. 

They’re both a little breathless as Ray stands and licks his lips, grinning up at Nate like he knows just how good he is.

Nate drags Ray forward then, kissing deep and licking into his mouth to taste himself on Ray’s tongue. He should feel sated now, but instead, when he pulls away to look at Ray again, he just feels starved for more, and he sees that reflected back at him in Ray’s eyes.

But, his head is clear enough now that he remembers how to be a good host.

“Do you want something to eat?” Nate asks once both of their breathing has gone back to normal.

Ray narrows his eyes at him and chuckles. “What?”

“Have you had dinner yet?”

“Uh, it’s like 10, yeah I’ve had dinner.”

Nate shrugs. “You said you’d been at the bar for over two hours, I don’t know.”

Ray grins and reaches up to kiss the side of Nate’s mouth. 

“How about anything to drink?”

“Oh, my god,” Ray laughs, taking a step back.

“What?” 

“We both just had each other’s cocks down our throats, you don’t need to act like such a gentleman.”

That makes Nate frown. “Asking you if you want anything to eat or drink is acting like a gentleman? You must have hooked up with some shitty guys if they didn’t even offer you a glass of water after you deep throated them.”

Ray chokes a little on a laugh. He watches Nate for a moment before shrugging.

“Yeah, ok, a glass of water sounds good.”

 

Ray has his clothes bundled up in his arms as Nate hands him a glass of water and he keeps his eyes fixed on Nate’s as he drinks the whole thing down, letting some of the water dribble down his chin.

Nate’s not sure if the act is meant to be suggestive or not, and if so he doesn’t know why he’d need to be suggestive about anything, Nate is already fully aware of what Ray can do. He wipes the droplets from Ray’s chin with his thumb, as Ray just stands there watching him.

“Are we done with the food and drink talk?” Ray asks after a moment of the two of them just standing in the middle of Nate’s kitchen, naked and staring.

“Yeah,” Nate says, unable to look away from Ray’s eyes.

“Are you gonna show me your room now?” Ray asks, and Nate feels himself nodding before he’s really even processed the question.

Once he’s shaken himself out of his trance he nods again, this time, realizing what he’s agreeing to. 

He takes Ray’s hand that isn’t holding his shirt and jeans and leads him. 

“So, what do you do?” Ray asks, attempting to make conversation as they pass from the kitchen to the bedroom.

Nate just wishes it hadn’t been that conversation.

“The bathroom is there if you need it,” Nate says instead, in a poorly executed distraction.

Ray isn’t fooled at all by Nate’s change of subject.

“Okay, so we’re going for the ‘the less you know about me the better’ kind of deal here then,” Ray surmises. 

“I’m sorry, it’s not that-“

But Ray cuts him off with a short kiss, then pulls back to say, “Nate, don’t worry so much, man. I don’t need to know everything about you to wanna fuck you.”

Nate just responds with a kiss of his own, walking Ray backward until they hit the bed. And just like that, the conversation is forgotten.

 

Ray is bossy and impatient through most of Nate’s attempts at preparing him, and Nate has a feeling that if Ray hadn’t just come 20 minutes ago he’d be even worse. Though, even with Ray’s insistence that he’s ready and that he wants Nate’s cock inside him, he seems to be a fan of Nate’s fingers. Which is not a new compliment for Nate.

Once he’s decided he’s sufficiently prepared, Ray pushes Nate back down on the bed, straddling his lap and slowly sliding down onto him. Nate groans and grabs tight to Ray’s slim hips. He lets Ray determine the speed and depth for most of it, enjoying the tease and the view and the feel of Ray above him. 

It’s when he can tell Ray is close, cock red and hard and leaking, that Nate fastens his hold on Ray’s hips even tighter, holding him in place as he fucks up into him, watching as Ray’s eyes roll back letting out a desperate, gasping breath as his come hits both of their stomachs.

He waits until both of their breathing has slowed some and Ray moves from where he’s collapsed against his chest to lay alongside him before he gets up. 

Throwing away the used condom and wetting a washcloth, Nate only glances at himself in the mirror for a moment, noticing that his face is splotchy and red, but his eyes look bright, so he doesn’t let himself feel too self-conscious about the blush on his skin.

 

When he walks out of the bathroom, washcloth in hand, he sees Ray buttoning up his jeans.

“What’re you doing?” Nate asks, unable to stop himself from thinking of how uncomfortable it must be to be going commando in jeans right about now for Ray.

Ray furrows his eyebrows. “Putting clothes on?”

“Why?”

“Well, in the state of California, public nudity is still illegal. It’s puritanical and old-fashioned, but…them’s the rules, ya know?”

“You’re leaving?” Nate frowns.

That makes Ray’s eyes widen. “I, uh…yeah, I figured you’d want me to.”

The problem is, normally, Nate would actually feel a little relieved to know the person was willingly leaving without him having to ask them to, not that he ever would. But now, being faced with Ray ready to leave without another word, Nate just feels disappointed.

“I don’t,” Nate tells him. “But If you need to, I understand, I’m not gonna hold you hostage. Ya know, per our agreement.”

“Actually, you agreed not to murder me,” Ray says. “I think kidnapping is still on the table.”

Nate grins. “Felonies aside, I think you should stay.”

Ray watches him for a long moment, not seeming to believe Nate’s words. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Nate says, walking closer to Ray, letting the forefinger of his free hand hook onto a belt loop in Ray’s jeans and tug. “Stay.”

Ray’s eyes are dark again, and he’s breathing heavier and Nate feels himself start to grin even before Ray says, “okay.”

 

There’s a weight against Nate’s chest and what he can only guess is a hand resting low on his stomach when he wakes up. He peeks an eye open and looks down at where Ray has wrapped himself around him. Ray’s thigh has been thrown over both of Nate’s, while his arm is strewn over Nate’s chest, coming up to almost frame his head. And in some kind of Twister levels of stretching, Ray’s other arm has extended down Nate’s torso, resting just below his bellybutton. 

Nate feels sore in a way he hasn’t in a while, and he grins at the memory of what has been the best one night stand he’s ever had. Though he’s brought back down a little bit when he attempts to extract himself from the cage of limbs Ray has trapped him in and feels the sting on his skin along all the areas where their dried sweat has fused them together.

He grimaces as he pulls away and once he’s free and off the bed he heads straight to the bathroom to turn on the shower. 

It’s been a while since he’s slept in past 9 o’clock, but he forgives himself for it, as he is about to start with his new platoon soon and then he won’t have the choice of sleeping in, so he may as well enjoy it while it lasts.

He’s only able to start scrubbing at his skin when he hears the bathroom door open. 

“Uh, Ray?” he calls out, not sure why he hadn’t knocked first, the way most people do.

Before he can stick his head out from behind it, the shower curtain is pulled back and Ray steps in beside him.

“What’re you doing?” Nate asks, struggling with his questionable sensation of modesty that’s telling him to cover himself even though Ray has seen everything.

“I’m gross, I need a shower,” Ray explains, still looking a little tired, as he maneuvers around Nate in the narrow shower to stand underneath the water.

“I was kind of in the middle of my own,” Nate points out.

Ray turns to him and quirks an eyebrow. “Not big into sharing showers?” he asks, though makes no move to leave.

Nate shrugs. “I’ve never done it before, seems like kind of a hassle. It’s not a very big shower.”

“But there are benefits,” Ray says, grinning wider and turning to completely face Nate now.

“If you’re talking about sex, that seems like the fastest way to a broken neck. I have a pretty firm rule that I won’t do anything sex-wise that could send me to the hospital or get me on the news.”

Ray lets out one of his cackling laughs again, and though Nate is being completely serious he finds he’s smiling anyway.

“That’s a solid rule,” Ray concedes. “But there’s plenty we can do while keeping both our feet completely on the ground.”

“I have a bed just on the other side of that door, why -“

He is cut off when Ray takes Nate’s half hard dick in his hand and begins stroking it. 

“Stop being lame, it’s just a shower, homes,” Ray says, looking up at him with those big, dark eyes and wide smirk.

Nate tries to give Ray his best unimpressed face, but it’s weakened by the much more authentic groan that comes from his throat as Ray rotates his wrist just right. He reaches one arm up to curl around Ray’s shoulders, bringing him in closer, letting his other take Ray’s own half hard cock in his hand.

Ray just grins and pushes closer, accepting Nate’s kiss eagerly. 

 

“Do you want breakfast?” Nate asks, handing Ray a pair of shorts for him to wear around for now.

“Sure, what’dya have?”

“Uh, oatmeal, fruit, yogurt –“ he starts to list his usual breakfast but cuts himself off when Ray quirks an eyebrow up.

“Do you have eggs, or anything meat based? Wait, you’re not like a vegetarian or one of those…vegans or whatever it’s called, are you? I didn’t fuck a vegan, did I?”

Nate rolls his eyes. 

“We have eggs,” he assures Ray as he leads him out toward the kitchen, only Ray doesn’t follow, just stands in the middle of his bedroom watching Nate suspiciously.

“I eat all kinds of living things, I promise.”

“Dude, now you just sound like a cannibal,” Ray says, but finally follows him out, which Nate thinks he should probably be more concerned about the fact that Ray is apparently much more disturbed by vegans than cannibals.

Instead of responding, Nate just shrugs and opens the fridge to pull out the eggs.

“You enjoy fucking with me, don’t you?” Ray asks as he sidles up beside Nate to peek into the fridge.

Nate smiles to himself as he steps aside to let Ray rummage.

“You have stuff to make omelets, perfect,” Ray says, pulling out some cheese and a tomato and batting his eyes at Nate in an attempt to persuade him.

Nate has a feeling that Ray has the power to persuade him to do a lot of things, without any real effort, which could be a problem.

Only, this time it won’t work, for one very important reason. 

“I don’t know how to make an omelet,” Nate admits.

Ray gapes at him before snatching the eggs out of Nate’s hands.

“You don’t know how to make omelets? Where did you grow up? Prison?”

Nate huffs, trying not to laugh at Ray’s indignation as he swiftly starts pulling things out of the fridge and cupboard as if he’s been here before.

“I can scramble eggs,” Nate insists, in an attempt to defend himself, but Ray scoffs.

“A blind dog could scramble an egg, Nate,” Ray tells him, already cutting into an onion that Nate hadn’t even noticed he’d pulled out. “This is what happens when you’re too good-looking, you never learn any valuable skills.”

Nate rolls his eyes. “I know how to do plenty of things.”

Ray turns to look away from whatever he’s preparing to let his eyes trail down Nate’s body suggestively.

“Oh, I know you do,” he says with a wink before turning back to his chopping.

Nate really tries not to smile, but his mouth curves up without his permission.

“Can I help?” he asks.

“You’re helping already. It’s your job to just sit back and look pretty for me,” Ray says with a smirk and Nate promptly throws a grape at his head. 

Ray just grins and continues working.

So, Nate just sits and watches Ray for a few minutes, enjoying the view. Nate likes seeing Ray in just a pair of his shorts, falling low due to the size difference, as well as the various tattoos that stand out against his skin and Nate doesn’t even have the conscious thought to get up before he’s standing behind Ray, bringing his hands up to slide over his sides and across his middle. He can feel Ray’s stomach muscles contract in response to his touch before Ray huffs and turns around.

“Look, I get that you’re some kind of sex nymph, but some of us need sustenance to keep our energy going. So, you’re just gonna have to wait for it.”

Nate pouts but backs off, leaning against the counter now to watch Ray work.

Ray nods his head and turns back to focus on the food. Only, every few seconds, Nate can feel Ray side-eyeing him and he just tries to grin whenever he catches Ray trying to stealthily look over.

A few minutes go by like this until Ray reaches out to turn the stove on, glancing over at Nate one more time before he sighs and slams the oil in his hand back down on the counter.

“Fine, you win,” Ray huffs.

“I’m just standing here,” Nate says innocently.

“Yeah, just standing here looking sexy as fuck,” Ray mutters as he yanks the shirt Nate’s wearing up.

 

Twenty minutes later, the floor is littered with their clothes and the hastily opened condom wrapper. Ray is moaning into the countertop he’s bent over, and he’s meeting every one of Nate’s hard thrusts, using his leverage on the counter to push back.

Nate folds himself over Ray’s back, changing to shallow thrusts as he works Ray through his fourth orgasm in twelve hours, following him shortly after.

He’s breathing hard into Ray’s neck until Ray pushes him back, moving until Nate slides out.

“Now, can I make breakfast?” Ray asks any faux annoyance in his voice spoiled by how glazed over his eyes are, and his still heavier than normal breathing, and the slight blush across his skin.

Nate grins and bends down to capture Ray’s lips in a small kiss. One that Ray responds to immediately.

 

Ray’s omelets are delicious and Nate thanks him for making breakfast by making out with him on the couch, which Ray seems to take as adequate payment.

They end up not moving from the couch most of the day. Once their lips get numb and tired they turn on the TV, Ray settling his legs out along Nate’s lap. 

Occasionally, Ray will make a comment about leaving.

“I should probably get going,” he says every twenty minutes or so.

And Nate will say, “ok,” and squeeze his thigh or wrist, or kiss his neck, and they are distracted long enough that the thought of Ray leaving is forgotten for another twenty minutes.

This goes on long enough for Nate to eventually get up and make them sandwiches for lunch. Which, are apparently worthy enough for Ray’s superior palate. 

After lunch, Ray spends some time perusing through Nate’s bookshelf, letting his fingers brush over the spines as he reads the titles.

“Are these all books you’ve actually read? Or are these just here to make you look smart?” Ray asks, pulling out Nate’s copy of Mediations and starts flipping through it.

Nate grins, knowing Ray is seeing his annotations, proving that he has read at least one of the books on that shelf.

“I’ve read most of them,” Nate says, honestly. “Some I’ve bought in different places over the years and haven’t gotten around to reading yet. But I’d say I’ve read a good 90%.”

Ray nods, still reading through the book for a moment before he mumbles, “academic,” under his breath and puts the book back.

“What was that?”

Ray rejoins Nate on the couch.

“Just saying your notes are academic.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

Ray shrugs. “The few I read weren’t very interesting, and it felt more like a surface level reading. Plus, they’re much less entertaining than my own notes on it.”

“You’ve read Mediations?” Nate asks, forehead scrunching up without his permission.

“Sure, who hasn’t?”

Nate takes two seconds trying to decide if he’s offended or impressed before grabbing Ray and kissing him hard.

Ray seems perfectly fine with ending the conversation there and quickly maneuvers himself to sit on Nate’s lap. 

He settles down hard against Nate’s steadily hardening cock and he groans against Ray’s mouth, or maybe that’s Ray’s groan, either way, he feels the sound vibrating against his own tongue.

Ray rolls his hips up just right and Nate doesn’t stop himself from lifting his own hips up into it. It’s not that easy, with Ray’s weight holding him down, but the pressure is good regardless.

Soon, they’re both moving faster, breathing becoming more erratic as their hands get tangled together trying to push the other’s clothes out of the way enough to make contact with skin.

 

Nate comes first, head buried in Ray’s neck, one hand halted on Ray’s still hard cock, the other on Ray’s back, pushing Ray as close to him as possible as his blunt fingernails dig into the soft skin beneath them.

Ray is patient for about thirty seconds before he starts desperately thrusting up into Nate’s loose fist. Nate tightens his hold and moves his head down to kiss the star on Ray’s chest. When Ray gasps, Nate sucks against the tattoo until Ray comes in his hand, his fingers pulling at the short hairs on the back of Nate’s head.

Nate works him through it, holding onto him tight as his body trembles slightly. He kisses Ray’s chest again, then his neck, then his cheek, just about to move on to his lips when Ray takes matters into his own hands. He kisses Nate hard and deep and Nate feels a whine release from his own throat when Ray bites his bottom lip into his mouth, his spent cock twitches at the sensation and it honestly just hurts more than anything at this point. So, Nate slows the kiss down until Ray sighs and rests his head against the side of Nate’s, his fingers trailing up and down Nate’s arms.

“I think I jizzed my brain out,” Ray says after a moment, startling a laugh out of Nate.

Ray presses himself just a little closer to Nate and Nate feels his hands automatically hold on tighter.

“I’m fucking serious, I can barely think right now,” Ray insists, his lips running lightly along the tip of Nate’s ear.

“It seems like you still have speech functions, so at least that part of your brain is still intact,” Nate says, kissing the collarbone that is right in front of him.

Ray snorts. “You have no idea.”

He wiggles back just enough that Nate can see his face then leans over and grabs a few tissues that are on the side table by the couch. He wipes Nate’s fingers off first before focusing on the little bit that got onto his stomach.

Nate brushes his hand out of the way before he can though, and lets his thumb swipe over the small amount still on Ray’s skin. He brings it up to his lips to suck on the pad of his thumb as he holds Ray’s eyes with his own.

Ray lets out a pained whine and smacks Nate’s finger out of his mouth.

“You are evil,” Ray insists, eyes dark and desperate, like Nate is doing something horrible to him.

“How am I evil?” Nate asks innocently, letting his thumb now trace the line of Ray’s hips inward.

“Seriously? I have no more come, I cannot come again for like a day. If you make me come again it’ll just be dust or blood or something, cause there’s nothing left,” Ray tells him.

Nate throws his head back in a laugh, both at Ray’s words, as well as his indignation.

“That’s disgusting, and not possible,” Nate says once he’s settled down enough to talk.

“I’ve heard of it happening.”

“You have not.”

“Well it could, I could be the first case of it. I can just see the headlines now: ‘Man Dies when Jizz Runs Out and Body Replaces it with Blood’. And then you’ll definitely be on the news, and isn’t that against one of your sex rules? Nothing newsworthy?”

“That’s a terrible headline,” Nate tells him, but moves his hands up Ray’s sides, away from Ray’s apparently very spent genitals.

“I told you, my brain is gone, I don’t know what you want from me,” Ray says, rolling his eyes but leaning back down kiss Nate hard for just a moment.

Nate grins and trails his fingers over the tattoo on Ray’s bicep. 

“Which one’s your favorite?” Ray asks, pulling away just a little so that his lips are only just not touching Nate’s.

“Hm?”

“My tattoos. Which one’s your favorite?” he asks again, pulling back, resting against Nate’s thighs.

Nate looks him over for a moment before letting his hand wander up Ray’s right arm, stopping at the tattoo on his forearm, he traces over the tattoo there for a moment before moving on to the one on his shoulder. He lets his thumb brush the ink a few times, noting just a small shiver from Ray at his touch, before moving to the tattoo on his other shoulder. He only lets his fingers trail down that tattoo before he wraps his hand around the tattoo on Ray’s bicep, fingers not quite able to encase the wings beneath them. 

He slides his hand behind Ray’s back, bringing the other one up to meet it and lock his fingers together as he leans in to press a kiss to the right star on Ray’s chest, then the left.

“These,” he says, pressing another kiss to the left star.

He can almost hear Ray rolling his eyes above him. Though, when he looks up, it’s to see Ray smiling fondly.

“You only like those because of where they are. If I had a tattoo on my ass that’d be your favorite.”

Nate smirks and lets his hands trail down to rest against Ray’s tailbone. “True.”

That makes Ray chuckle and shake his head but he doesn’t say anything else, just leans in to kiss him again. Ray kisses him softer this time, sweeter, smiling against Nate’s lips and Nate smiles right back into it.

 

“You don’t have to leave,” Nate says a few hours later.

Ray smiles, big and bright and knowing. He’s fully dressed now, back in his clothes from the night before, and Nate is sorry to see his tattoos covered up again.

“Actually, I do,” Ray counters. “Brad is probably ready to call the cops. Or throw all my belongings away, it really just depends on his mood.”

Nate frowns. Not for the first time since they met, Nate wonders if Brad really is more to Ray than he says. 

Instead of dwelling on that though, he steps back into Ray’s space and kisses him hard, feeling a little high off of Ray’s immediate response, breathing deep through his nose and pushing up while his fingers grip tight to Nate’s shirt.

When he moves back, keeping a tight grip on Ray’s hips he sighs and says, “I feel like an asshole saying this, but please don’t…tell anyone about...”

He cringes as the words come out and he tapers off, ashamed of himself. It’s a shitty thing to say to someone who he has had such an instant connection with, and his decision to not tell Ray anything identifiable about himself means he can’t just say that it’s because ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’ is a very present part of his life.

Instead of rolling his eyes or walking out or any perfectly reasonable response, Ray grins and kisses him again. 

“I don’t even know your last name,” Ray assures him when he’s pulled back. “But I promise, I won’t tell the world that if they want to find an excellent homosexual lay to just look for a pretty guy named Nate.”

Nate grins and squeezes Ray’s side, reluctant to let go. He knows he’s grown attached to Ray way too quickly for someone who was meant to just be a one night stand, and he may be a little too morose at the fact that he’s probably never going to see him again.

“I’m sorry this couldn’t be…more,” Nate tries, looking over Ray’s shoulder as he speaks, trying to not be so obvious about how he’s feeling.

Thankfully, Ray doesn’t seem disturbed by Nate’s fast-acting attachment to him, and just smiles again and puts his hands over where Nate has still not managed to let him go.

“Maybe, when we’re both in a better place, we’ll see each other again,” Ray says sagely.

Nate nods and finally releases Ray’s sides, taking a step back.

“Plus,” Ray adds as he turns and opens the front door. “I know where you live. So, really, I can just come over and complain about work or whatever whenever I feel like it.”

He grins and winks before turning to where the cab he’d called earlier is waiting for him. And Nate can’t help his smile at the unlikely possibility as he closes the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

Nate feels more excited than nervous as he makes his way to the base.

He’s feeling much more confident than the first time he’d been assigned a unit, now having the experience to back up his command. But this is a whole new group, this is Recon, and while he’s been through the same training as them he’s still going to need to prove to some of the more veteran marines that he has what it takes to lead them.

Captain Schwetje is nice enough, he speaks in ‘ums’ and ‘uhs’ more than Nate is used to from his commanders but he’s not planning on holding that against him.

The office is empty when he walks in, being perpetually early tends to mean he’s always the first one in, and it gives him some time to look at the roster of names of the men in 2nd platoon, the unit he’ll be commanding. He’d been informed beforehand that he’d be working alongside Gunnery Sergeant Wynn, so he’d called up Eric Dill, the platoon’s old commander who had recommended Nate for the position, to see if he knew anything about the guy.

Dill had told him to get down on his knees and thank God, that he’d gotten one of the best. He’d assured Nate that Wynn and he would get along well, which probably has to do with why he’s not nearly as nervous as he may have otherwise been.

“You must be Lieutenant Fick.”

Nate looks up at the deep southern voice, the owner of that voice is broad-shouldered, with light, shorn hair and a small smile that looks more like a smirk.

“And I’m going to assume that makes you Sergeant Wynn,” Nate says as he stands, walking over to shake his hand.

“Just call me Mike.”

Nate grins. “Then call me Nate.”

 

They talk for a few minutes, just regular getting to know each other chatter, before Nate shares his thoughts about getting to know the unit.

“I’d like to get them all together, just to introduce myself, don’t worry, I’m not going to give a long boring speech.”

Mike grins at that.

“And then meet with the team leaders one at a time or as a group first. What do you think?”

Nate is not unconfident, but he’d be an idiot if he didn’t get Mike’s opinions on matters, especially involving the men. Mike knows these guys and knows how they work. Nate wants Mike to know that he is not going to be the kind of lieutenant that just comes in and acts like he somehow knows more than the guys who have been here for almost a decade. He wants Mike to know that he considers them a team.

“I’d say meet with Colbert first and then we can have a team leader meeting,” Mike suggests.

Nate looks back down at his roster to see Sergeant Brad Colbert’s name with ‘Team One Leader’ beside it.

“You get along with him, everyone else will follow,” Mike says with a shrug.

Nate nods in understanding, in any unit, sergeants are the ones who know their men and are who the men can usually look to, just because he’s a lieutenant doesn’t mean he doesn’t have to earn their trust. 

“You ready to meet the platoon?”

 

Standing in front of the men, Nate feels a sense of calm wash over him. These men are some of the best, and he can’t wait to work with them.

Most of the men past the first row are faceless to him with the sun at their backs, shining right in his eyes, but having a few recognizable ones – Sergeants Reyes and Espera – in the lineup is helpful.

Sergeant Colbert is not difficult to spot, not just because of his place in the front. He towers over every other guy in the platoon and he exudes a cool, collected quality that helps Nate understand why all the other men would look up to him – both literally and figuratively.

Nate keeps his introductory speech short and to the point, mentioning his desire to meet with each one of them individually at some point over the following week, and that he is happy to be joining them. Nobody has any questions when he prompts it, and so he turns to his team leaders, Colbert, Patrick, and Lovell, and requests their attendance at his office after noon. 

“Sergeant Colbert,” he says, approaching the man. “I’d like to meet with you first.”

His attention is caught for just a moment by some shifting coming from the person standing directly behind Colbert. The person is small enough that from Nate’s earlier position, he hadn’t seen anyone there at all. He lets his eyes flicker over the Marine’s face and move back to Colbert, or more accurately, he begins to look at Colbert when his brain processes what his eyes have just taken in. Only, there’s no way that’s possible.

But when his eyes jump back, it’s exactly what he’d thought. His stomach sinks and he can feel his heart in his throat, as he takes in Ray’s wide eyes and twitchy demeanor. 

“Sir?”

He blinks and looks back up at Colbert, who is looking confused and concerned, probably due to his new platoon commander seemingly on the verge of a heart attack.

“I-uh, sorry, what?”

Colbert raises his eyebrows, probably not too impressed by what he’s seen so far. “When do you need me to report to your office? 0930?”

“That…yes, 0930.” Nate shakes his head then nods and takes a step back to address the rest of the platoon again. “Dismissed.”

With that, he turns on his heel and makes his way back toward the office, trying to regulate his breathing and will his heart beat to slow down to a pace that doesn’t make him feel like he’s going to throw up. But this is bad. This is worse than anything Nate could have even imagined might happen when he’d gone out looking for a one night stand last week.

“Everything ok?” Mike asks, coming up beside him, keeping pace with Nate’s long, quick strides. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Nate nods, afraid that he’ll actually vomit if he tries to speak right now.

When they get back to the office, Nate has to sit down, he’s feeling lightheaded and he really doesn’t need to have a panic attack on his very first day at the job. He can feel Mike’s eyes on him as he attempts to regulate his breathing and he knows he needs to say something soon or else he’ll lose all credibility to Mike as a sane, capable leader. He can’t have him thinking he’s losing his shit over something like introducing himself to a group of guys he’s meant to lead.

His eyes catch the roster he’d been looking at early and he quickly picks it up, scanning for Ray’s name, but there are no Rays in his platoon.

“The small, twitchy guy behind Colbert,” Nate says suddenly. “Who is that?”

Mike is still looking at him like maybe his first impression had been all wrong, but he seems to take Nate’s question in, narrowing his eyes in thought.

“Small and twitchy, you’re probably talking about Person.”

Nate looks down at the roster. There is a Corporal Josh Person on the list and Nate stares at the name like he’s begging it to give him answers. Part of him is genuinely wondering if he has been thinking about Ray so much these past few days that his mind has just decided to make him see Ray wherever he goes. Honestly, the idea of him losing his mind and just seeing the one night stand who he’d fallen way too hard for is somehow still a better option than Ray being an actual Marine in the platoon he is commanding. 

 

By the time Colbert arrives at the office Nate has calmed down – on the outside - enough for him to carry on a conversation with the guy, at least enough to hopefully prove that he can be trusted as their leader.

It’s when they’re winding down their discussion that Nate decides to mention to both of them – because he has surmised that they will be the two that he will be looking to for honest opinions and support – a small, barely hatched plan of his.

“I’m considering making one or two staffing changes, namely, transferring Corporal Person to a different unit.”

The two sergeants go quiet and he can see the shock on both of their faces. This is not what he’s ever wanted to do, he’s never wanted to come in and make changes before he gets a clue about how things are run, but desperate times call for desperate measures. And Nate is really fucking desperate.

Mike is looking back and forth between Nate and Colbert, and Colbert’s jaw is being held so tight Nate can almost hear his teeth grinding together.

“Speak freely, Sergeant, I’m telling you this because I want your opinion,” Nate tells him.

“Sir, you’d be making a mistake by transferring Corporal Person out of this unit,” Colbert says all in one breath like it had been held on the edge of his tongue until Nate gave him the go ahead.

“Brad’s right,” Mike says, still watching Nate like he doesn’t know what to make of him anymore.

Nate is just about to lament this loss in confidence from his Gunny already when something pings in his brain. 

Sergeant Colbert, Sergeant Brad Colbert. Before Nate had taken over this platoon, Sergeant Colbert had put in two requests with the Company Commander, that Sergeant Espera join as his assistant team leader, and an RTO that Nate had not known the name of, but almost certainly that had been Ray. Which means Colbert will not only go to bat for him, they also probably have a more personal relationship. Not probably, Nate knows for a fact that they do. This is Brad.

He doesn’t know if this makes things better or worse, it all feels terrible really. Knowing that Colbert is aware of Ray’s sexuality and has not outed him in some ways makes him feel better, but the possibility that he may have heard about Nate makes another wave of nausea roll through him.

“Sir, Corporal Person is my RTO,” Colbert continues.

“You wouldn’t be doing this unit any favors by getting rid of Person, Nate,” Mike adds.

Nate is trying to hear their words, he understands that this is a shitty idea, but keeping him feels like an even shittier idea, he just wishes he could tell them why.

“He’s the best RTO in the battalion, sir, and I will personally vouch-“ Brad starts before suddenly his eyes widen and his mouth snaps shut. He searches Nate’s face for a moment before his expression turns stoic and unreadable.

And Nate knows that Brad knows. He knows that Brad just had the same realization he’d had a moment ago and Nate is ready to just crawl under his desk and hide for the rest of the day. This is not how his first day was supposed to go. He doesn’t have to wonder anymore, he can feel it in his gut, Brad knowing just makes everything worse.

Mike seems to be looking back and forth between them, clearly confused as to what is happening and why Brad has stopped talking, but Brad has chosen to just look straight ahead, probably just as lost for words as Nate is.

“Thank you, Sergeant, that’ll be all,” Nate finally says, needing to move this day forward. 

Brad nods to him and then to Mike and leaves without a word.

“Is there something I should know about, Nate?” Mike asks once they’re alone.

Nate forces himself to look at Mike when he says, “no, everything’s fine.”

 

He is still in the office long after he could have gone, Mike went home an hour ago. But spending most of his day thinking and worrying has already made him fall behind.

There’s a light knock on the open door to the office and Nate looks up to see Ray standing in the doorway, and Nate’s heart is back to racing again.

They watch each other for a long minute, long enough that he’s glad no one is around to see this because there is no good explanation for why he’s looking at his corporal this way.

He stands, feeling his heart hammering in his ribs, and his stomach feels sick. But maybe the worst part about this moment is that he’s also simultaneously picturing sitting Ray out on his desk and kissing him hard, which is a very dangerous thought for him to be having right now.

After they do nothing but watch each other for a while, Ray finally takes a step inside the office, ducking his head as he says, “I thought maybe I should stop by and introduce myself.”

Nate can’t just tell him to get out, but he also doesn’t feel confident in telling him he can stay either, so instead, he says, “Josh, was it?”

Ray winces. “To be fair, my name is Josh Ray. I do go by Ray sometimes.”

There is no reason that Nate should feel relief at that. But the idea that Ray had given him a false name had been a small thing weighing on his mind, and knowing that hadn’t been the case does feel a little better.

Ray looks almost shy, a far cry from how he’d looked the other day when Nate had last seen him. Nate’s sure he didn’t look as panicked and red-faced as he probably is then either. But the quiet, shy look on Ray just seems wrong and Nate feels his fingers begin to reach out to him but Nate pulls them back and balls his hands into fists.

This is going to get out of hand, fast, he needs to set things straight.

“Well, Corporal Person, I feel as though I should let you know that I am looking into transferring you out of my unit,” he says, hoping that eases some of the tension between them.

Instead of sighing in relief, Ray gapes at him.

“What? Why?” he demands, and it seems that Ray has not quite grasped the gravity of their situation and that Nate is, in fact, his commanding officer.

“First of all,” Nate starts, trying to keep his voice even and official, to remind Ray of who he is. “I didn’t need to tell you the little I have. I was doing it as a personal courtesy, which does not extend to me needing to explain myself to you. Second of all, you know why. It’s extremely inappropriate for me to be in any position over you given our…history.”

Ray’s eyes are hard now, all shyness has gone as he holds himself straight with his chin held high.

“Why am I the one being punished for this? Sir,” adding the sir as an afterthought.

Nate can feel himself deflate at that. He’s torn and stuck, neither option feels right to him, the only good option he has right now is to go back in time and unfuck Ray.

“This isn’t meant to punish you,” Nate says, voice softening so that Ray knows he means it so that he knows that Nate is actually thinking about Ray in this as well, not just himself. “It’s meant to keep us from the absolute nightmare that would befall us if anyone found out. As well as you not having to work under an officer that you’re afraid would take advantage of you.”

Ray rolls his eyes. “The only reason anyone would find out is if you transfer me for no reason. And I’m not really worried about you taking advantage of me. Anything that happened would all be mutual-“

“Enough,” Nate cuts him off, not trusting himself to hear the last of Ray’s sentence. He doesn’t need to hear that Ray may still be interested after today, he doesn’t need to have that on his mind. What’s most important is that they maintain a strictly professional relationship from here on out. “I’m done talking about this. If you have questions, concerns or other matters you would like to speak to me about, please feel free to come talk to me. But you and I are done talking about this.”

Ray doesn’t even try to hide the disdain and anger on his face, and Nate would be lying if he said it didn’t feel a bit like a punch to the chest to see it aimed right at him. 

Instead of continuing to argue though, Ray just stands at attention and says, “yes, sir.”

Nate watches him for a moment, not sure what he’s looking for or what he’s hoping to see, before he says, “dismissed.”

Ray turns on his heel and leaves the room without another word or backward glance and all the air in Nate’s lungs is expelled.

 

When he gets home that night, he gives himself a pep talk. It’s one thing to lose his mind at home, in private, but he can’t be so obvious in front of Mike like that. He can’t let Ray and what they’d done together ruin this for him, he’s been looking forward to this opportunity, and he’s not going to ruin it because of his feelings for a guy.

He stays true to his promise to himself, keeping a cool head and focusing on his work on base, and then worrying and trying to figure out what to do about this when he’s home.

Thankfully, Mike hasn’t been side-eyeing him or questioning what had happened to him, seeming to have taken Nate’s weirdness as just first day jitters. It would be embarrassing, but it’s much better than the truth, so Nate will take it.

It’s awkward with Brad, knowing that he knows, but they’ve come to something of a silent agreement to not discuss it, and after the first ten minutes of a Team Leader meeting on Tuesday, where Brad had just watched Nate like he was afraid he was going to set the whole place on fire, he now acts as though he doesn’t know a thing. Nate isn’t naïve enough to believe Brad has just forgotten, but it does make him feel better to hope that is the case.

Ray is difficult. He doesn’t come to his office again, or try to talk to him at all. In fact, as soon as Nate approaches the guys, even when they’re on downtime, Ray will immediately stop talking and stay quiet until Nate leaves. He knows it shouldn’t bother him, it should be a good thing.

Unfortunately, he’s beginning to understand that he’s not great at feeling what he should be feeling when it comes to Ray Person.

 

It’s Saturday night and Nate is exhausted from his first week with Bravo, while the time spent on base had gone fine, at home he’s been nothing short of a wreck with his near constant worry that someone is going to just be able to tell that he’d fucked Corporal Person less than two weeks ago.

VJ and some of their friends are out at a bar, but Nate had begged off, ready to fall asleep watching TV or maybe reading a book. 

Before he can do any of that though, he’s startled by a loud, continuous rapping on the front door.

The knocking doesn’t lessen at all as he makes his way to the door and he takes on a defensive set to his shoulders as he approaches the window to see who is out there knocking like that.

As soon as he sees who it is though, he feels himself tense up for an entirely different reason.

He pulls the door open and quickly yanks Ray inside, slamming the door behind them, hopefully before anyone sees them together.

Ray looks about as angry as Nate feels right now, and a small part of his brain can’t help but compare just how different the mood is from when they’d been standing here last, saying goodbye, Nate regretting that he may never see Ray again. Now, he has the opposite of that problem.

“You can’t be here.”

Ray scowls. “Bullshit, right now I’m Ray, and you’re Nate, and I told you I was gonna stop by and complain about work, so, here it goes. My new boss is a real dick.”

Nate sighs. 

Ray just keeps looking up at him, slightly breathless, like maybe he’d ran here. Or maybe he’s just feeling as keyed up about all of this as Nate is.

“I’m not transferring you,” Nate says, hoping that will maybe calm Ray down.

“Wait, you’re not?” Ray’s shoulders immediately relax, Nate wishes his could too.

“I’d rather not start off having the whole unit hate me because I got rid of you. Plus, I don’t have any reason to do it and, as you said, that wouldn’t raise some red flags for people.” 

“Really?” Ray asks, perking up. 

“This isn’t a good thing, Ray, we are breaking so many rules with this.” 

Ray looks around for a moment, like maybe he’s remembering everything now too. After a minute of them standing in silence, Ray turns toward him and smirks. It’s a look Nate wishes he didn’t like as much as he does.

“Well, if we’re already breaking rules, I guess I may as well go ahead and do this,” Ray says, right before lifting up on his toes to catch Nate’s lips with his own.

Nate reciprocates almost immediately, like it’s something they do every day, before his brain can catch up with what’s happening and he grabs Ray’s sides and pushes him back.

“No, absolutely not, Ray.”

Ray rolls his eyes but nods his head. “Fine.”

Nate watches Ray for a moment, but he seems to understand that Nate is serious.

After another minute of silence between them, Nate clears his throat.

“So,” Nate starts, since Ray is here, he may as well get some answers. “Brad?”

“What about him?”

“I’m guessing Brad and Sergeant Colbert are the same person?”

Ray nods.

“What does he know?”

Understanding dawns in Ray’s eyes and he winces. “Everything?”

That’s what Nate had been afraid of.

“What are the chances that he reports this?” Nate asks.

“Zero,” Ray says without a second of hesitation. “Brad wouldn’t rat me out like that.”

“Maybe not you, but he doesn’t have any reason to not report me, especially if it could mean that the new lieutenant isn’t taking advantage of his RTO,” Nate points out. 

Just from the week that he’s interacted with his unit, as well as the bits and pieces he’s learned from Ray before he knew who he was, Nate is very much aware of the tight bond between his team one leader and RTO. They’re more than just Sergeant and Corporal, and Ray is more to Brad than the best RTO in the battalion. They’re real friends.

“He wouldn’t,” Ray assures him again. “Trust me, Nate. You’ll want Brad on your side, and as long as you’re not getting rid of me, and you’re not a complete tool, he’ll be on your side.”

Nate has nothing but Ray’s word to go on, but he trusts Ray’s word, he doesn’t know why, but he does.

“Do you think I should talk to him? Explain…what happened?”

“Oh, trust me, he knows what happened.”

Nate frowns.

“What? I’d just come back from a day’s worth of fucking and hanging out with the hottest guy I’ve ever been with, you think I wasn’t going to tell someone about that?”

“Ray,” Nate warns, mostly because just the thought makes his skin warmer, and that’s not safe at all.

“Fine,” Ray says with a shrug. “But you’re the one that’s still holding onto me like you’re ready to slam me up against the wall and relive some of that day.”

That’s when Nate realizes he is still gripping Ray’s sides, holding on tight and letting his thumbs brush over his ribs. He quickly, and reluctantly, lets Ray go, holding up his hands in surrender.

“You should probably go now. You can’t come here again.”

Ray nods. “Yeah, don’t want your neighbors seeing.”

“That, and I’m about ten seconds from fucking you against the kitchen cabinets again and that’s a really bad idea.”

“Terrible idea,” Ray says, voice filled with sarcasm. 

“Ray,” Nate begs, really needing Ray to help him out here.

“I mean, I personally can’t stop thinking about what we did in the living room, or your awesome blowjob right here,” Ray says, instead of anything remotely helpful. “I’ve jerked off to the image of my come on your lips almost every day since then. I think it’s imprinted on my brain.”

Without his permission, Nate has backed Ray up against the wall and towers over him with how close he’s standing. He lets his thumb come up and brush against the side of Ray’s neck, working its way down to stretch underneath the collar of his shirt. He’s able to pull the collar down just enough that the star on Ray’s chest is visible and his thumb strokes the tattoo a few times until he can feel Ray’s whole body shivering against him.

He can see very clearly where the next step takes them. He will kiss Ray and Ray will kiss him back and one thing will lead to another and Ray will end up back in his bed and Nate will not want to let him leave this time. 

But he’ll have to, because they’re both expected back at base on Monday. Because they’re Marines. Because Ray is a Corporal for the 1st Reconnaissance Battalion, Bravo Company, 2nd platoon. And Nate is the commander of that platoon. 

He takes a large step back, guessing correctly that Ray will attempt to follow, but he holds his hands up, stopping him from approaching. 

“I’ll see you Monday, Corporal,” he says, sending Ray a look that he hopes he reads correctly. That no matter how Nate might feel about him on a personal level, they cannot be anything to each other past their professions.

Ray looks like he wants to argue, but instead, his shoulders deflate and he says, “aye aye, sir,” before turning and showing himself out as Nate continues to stare at the wall, his hands balled into fists at his sides. 

It’s going to be a long few months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Nate can’t sleep. Or, he can, but not longer than an hour or two at a time, and he’s starting to get restless, even though it’s 3 in the morning. So, he gets up, shuffling his way through his hotel room to take his third shower in twenty-four hours.

The grime and the smell had all washed away by the second shower, now, he’s just doing it because he can. 

Nate adjusts the heat back and forth from scalding to ice cold. He doesn’t know why, it just all feels amazing compared to the scratchy sand, and the stiff MOPP suits, and the dry air that had stung his eyes day in and day out through Iraq. 

Now, soft sheets and cool air conditioning don’t provide him the comfort he’d been missing. It’s the burning ache of the too hot water hitting his skin, and then the sting of the cold water that knocks his breath out of him, that makes him feel grounded.

Eventually, he drags himself out of the shower, knowing that this is just getting ridiculous now.

The mirror is steamed over and he contemplates wiping it away, but he’s suddenly tired again and he doesn’t need to look at himself anymore.

He starts to make his way back toward the bed, hoping maybe he’ll be able to sleep for three hours straight this time, but before he makes it, there’s a knock at the door.

Looking through the peephole, Nate sees Ray, who is looking down the hallway, probably to make sure nobody is watching him.

Nate opens the door slowly, he has no idea what to expect from a visit from Ray at 3 in the morning, and he can feel his heart beat just a little bit faster when they come face to face.

“Couldn’t sleep either, huh?” Ray says as a greeting when Nate stays silent.

He’s not entirely sure what to do here – just another thing he doesn’t feel confident about – so he just keeps looking at Ray. Nate has a feeling most of the guys are either out cold or are like Ray and himself, so used to sleeping in shifts or not at all for the past month that they’ve basically trained their bodies to be up and alert after barely any sleep. 

Ray looks tired. His eyes have bags under them and their shine is just a little duller than they’d been before, nowhere near as bright as they’d been months ago when he’d first met him in a shitty bar and decided he wanted to take him home with just one look from those big, brown eyes. Nate can only imagine what he looks like to Ray now compared to that night.

“Can I come in? Just, uh, so nobody sees me outside your room like a creep?” Ray asks, shifting where he stands, probably uncomfortable with Nate just staring at him.

Nate nods and moves out of the way, letting Ray pass him before letting the door shut and lock itself.

Ray walks to the middle of the room before turning around, taking the room in and nodding like he’s about to say that he likes what Nate’s done with the place.

“Why are shitty hotel rooms all the exact same?” Ray asks instead. “There is no difference between our rooms, other than you’ve apparently put all your clothes away, such a god damn Marine. And I bet the hotel down the street looks almost exactly the same. The only time you see hotel rooms that look different is when you see those huge suites they’ve got in Vegas and shit, have you seen those? I’d like to stay in one of those someday. It probably costs like half a year’s salary for a night but I could win that back in the casinos, right?”

Nate doesn’t know what to say when Ray finally stops talking, instead, opting to just watch and see if he’s going to continue.

“Sometimes, I’ll just keep talking until someone shuts me up,” Ray says after a moment of silence between them.

Nate nods, having seen plenty of it with Brad.

Ray circles his finger in the air. “That means you gotta say something, or do something to stop me.”

“Would you like me to gag you?”

Ray scowls.

“Oh wait, you don’t gag easily do you,” Nate says thoughtfully, trying to hide his smirk unsuccessfully.

Ray’s eyes widen. “Are you serious?”

“What?”

“So, we’re allowed to talk about it as long as you say it’s ok?”

Nate shrugs. “Well, yeah, but also as long as you say it’s ok, if you don’t want to we don’t have to.”

“No, no, I fucking want to, man,” Ray rushes to say before shaking his head and sighing. “This isn’t what I came here for.”

“What did you come here for?” Nate asks.

Ray throws his arms up in a huff. “I don’t know. I just decided to come over and I assumed I’d figure out what I wanted to say when I got here. And now all I’ve got is some more hotel room observational humor.”

“It’s not one of your better ones,” Nate tells him and Ray rolls his eyes, but Nate can see the slight hint of a smile trying to break through.

They stand in the middle of Nate’s hotel room for another minute, watching each other closely. Nate is studying Ray, trying to catalog the changes that have been made in such a short amount of time, he can’t be sure if Ray is doing the same thing, though it seems like it.

“Have you figured it out, yet?” Nate asks once he’s tired of the quiet between them. He’s used to hearing Ray’s voice now, having heard it constantly, even if it had partially been elevated by his necessary overuse of Ripped Fuel, he knows enough about Ray to know that talking is as natural as breathing to him. To have him not talk for too long means something must be wrong.

“Figured what out?”

“Why you’re here?”

Ray huffs. “The reason I’m here is the same reason you let me in and didn’t tell me to fuck off back to my room and leave you alone. It’s whatever reason that you’re letting me stand here ogling at you with just a towel and haven’t told me to act professional. Whatever the fuck that reasoning is...that’s why I’m here.”

He crosses his arms and sits down on the end of the bed.

Nate had sort of forgotten he only has a towel around his waist and can feel his skin redden at the reminder, he grips the side of his towel then just as a precaution. A precaution from what he’s not entirely sure. He watches Ray for another moment before he sighs and steps forward to stand in front of him.

“We’re not going to have sex tonight,” Nate tells him, because he just can’t. Regardless of Nate’s feelings - feelings that weren’t at all lessened by their time in Iraq together, in fact, his feelings may have even gotten worse - he is still Ray’s superior, still his commanding officer, and Nate has toed a lot of lines these past few weeks, but that’s one line he just can’t cross.

Ray looks up at him and rolls his eyes. Nate isn’t sure if that’s because he doesn’t believe Nate means it, or because Nate assumed that’s why he came here.

He watches Nate for almost a minute before he sighs and stands back up, causing Nate to have to take a step back.

“Whatever,” Ray says and starts to walk toward the door.

Without any plan to do so, Nate reaches out to grab Ray’s arm, stopping him from leaving, after feeling a sharp, sick twist in his stomach.

“Where’re you going?”

Ray looks down at the hand on his arm before raising an eyebrow at Nate.

“Back to my room.”

“You’re leaving because I won’t have sex with you?”

“No, I’m leaving because you apparently think I’m here to steal your innocence, which we both know was gone long before I ever came into the picture.”

Nate feels his skin heat up again at the mention of it, he’s sure his ears are bright red.

Ray smirks at him, probably from seeing how Nate’s body tends to blush along with his face.

Nate lets go of Ray’s arm, he doesn’t know how to tell Ray that the only person he doesn’t trust right now is himself.

“I’m leaving because you don’t want me here,” Ray says then, this time without the smirk or the eye roll.

“I want you here,” Nate says without thinking, but once it’s out he knows it’s true. He’s been stuck in his thoughts all night, it’d be nice to have Ray around to distract them. Ray is always a good distraction.

Ray studies his face for a moment before he seems to decide that Nate is telling the truth. He nods and sits back down on the bed.

“So, what d’ya wanna do?” Ray asks, resting back on his hands and looking up at Nate.

“Uh, let me just put some pants on,” Nate says, walking over to where he’d folded some sweatpants in one of the drawers.

“Good call, you know I can’t control myself when I find myself in a situation where I might accidentally see a dick, I’d just have to suck it,” Ray says, smirking when Nate rolls his eyes at him.

“I’m the only naked one in this room right now,” Nate argues.

“I could take my pants off,” Ray says, though it’s his shirt that he pulls off and tosses across the room.

It has to be a calculated move on Ray’s part, he knows how much Nate likes his tattoos, and sure enough, Nate’s eyes trail over the ink on Ray’s skin and it takes some effort to pull his gaze away.

He clears his throat and says, “let’s just stick with clothes on for now.”

Ray grins. “Oh, that’s right, you’re the one who can’t control himself.”

His eyes seem to land on Nate’s mouth and he knows exactly what Ray is thinking about.

Instead of arguing, because Ray isn’t exactly wrong, Nate just goes into the bathroom to change.

The steam has almost completely evaporated now, and Nate can finally see himself in the mirror. He quickly looks away though, he’d spent enough time yesterday staring at his face in the mirror, wondering why he looks so different now.

When he comes back out, he sees that Ray has kicked off his shoes and is leaning up against the headboard, staring at the blank TV like his favorite show is on.

Nate hesitates for just a moment before he slides next to Ray, not really in the mood for Ray to roll his eyes and call him a prude by taking too long to sit beside him.

“Do you want to watch TV?” He asks after a minute of silence between them. The fact that Ray hasn’t spoken makes him feel a little better about how blank his mind has become. He remembers enjoying talking to Ray, it’s one of the reasons he’d wanted him to stay as long as he had that day. Now, it feels like he has no idea what to say to the guy.

“Sure,” is all Ray says and he reaches over to the remote that is sitting on the bedside table next to him.

Nate watches his back as he reaches, and for the first time, he notices something other than Ray’s tattoos. He’s undeniably thinner than Nate remembers, and Ray had been pretty thin when they’d met.

Without deciding to do so, he extends his hand out and grabs Ray’s waist, startling Ray enough to drop the remote in his lap.

“Uh, Nate?”

“You’re skinnier than I remember,” Nate says, like he’s in a daze, which he supposes he is, since he can’t seem to look away from Ray’s torso.

Ray snorts. “Yeah well, excuse me for not really focusing on bulking up when I’m living off Skittles and Ephedra.”

Nate retracts his hand so fast he almost smacks himself in the face with it. Of course, that’s why Ray is thinner, Nate is thinner too. It’s not as though they had been starved and completely deprived of food at all for a month, but they all burned off far more than they were taking in, leaving most of the platoon thinner than when they had started. Adding things like Ripped Fuel, which everyone took at least some of to try and stay awake now and then - and he isn’t an idiot, he knows Ray probably relied on it the most - only made them lose even more weight than they might have otherwise.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly, looking down at his hands, now in his lap.

“What?”

“I’m sorry...for how things went over there.”

The problem isn’t that Nate thinks the entire thing was a failure, in fact, he knows it was a success, and on paper, his platoon and Bravo Company will be praised for what they did. They sustained no casualties, other than Pappy, and they did what General Mattis wanted. The problem is that Nate no longer feels confident in his leadership abilities, he’d been filled with doubt and uncertainty, and not knowing if he’d made the right decisions is eating away at him. He knows that he’d been incapable of staying as objective as he should have, the physical and mental well-being of his men often overshadowed his ability to follow orders, and he can’t say if his men are better off for it or not.

He’s beginning to get stuck in another loop in his mind when he feels an arm snake across his middle.

“What the fuck are you apologizing for?” Ray asks, moving fully into Nate’s space so that he can look him in the eye.

Nate tries to move his face away but Ray just crawls a little further on top of him.

“Seriously, Nate, what do you have to be sorry for?”

“For the way things…I just...”

He doesn’t know how to put it into words, how to explain how caught in the middle he had felt, incapable of blindly following orders, but also incapable of fighting those orders enough to have spared his men. He feels like he had been pulled in two different directions, forced to make a decision between them, and he has no idea if he’d chosen correctly.

Thankfully, Ray seems to understand what he’s apologizing for and he squeezes Nate’s side until he looks back up at him.

“You don’t need to apologize for shit, dude. It’s not your fault that our unit got saddled with bullshit we were never meant to do, and gave us a Captain like Encino Man.”

Nate sends Ray a hard stare at the mention of their captain’s nickname, but Ray just rolls his eyes and continues.

“You were the only competent officer we had over there. And while we’re all perfectly capable of handling fucked up situations, you’re the reason we all got out of there with all our dicks intact.”

Nate huffs out a laugh despite himself, but when he looks into Ray’s eyes he can see that Ray isn’t joking.

“I’m not the only one who thinks that. Gunny Wynn and Brad worked with you because they trusted you. They knew you had our backs, and that’s why they had yours.”

Ray settles against his side, letting his leg rest between Nate’s knees and rests his hand against Nate’s cheek.

“I’m glad we had you there with us. Shit was fucked over there, but you made it bearable.”

Nate lets his eyes lock with Ray’s, allows himself to hear Ray’s words and see the sincerity in his eyes. Regardless of how Nate feels, he knows without a doubt that Ray means what he’s saying.

He leans in then, letting his lips brush Ray’s, testing the waters for a reaction. Ray lets out a short, surprised puff of air against his lips before pressing in closer. He keeps the kiss short and surface, and Nate closes his eyes.

“Sorry,” he mumbles out, Ray’s breath ghosting against his cheek now.

“Stop apologizing for shit, it’s weirding me out,” Ray says, letting his hand fall against Nate’s chest.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Nate tells him, opening his eyes again.

Ray shrugs then looks down at his hand. He taps his finger against Nate’s chest twice before looking back up.

“Are you tired? Cause I’m fucking tired.”

“Do you want to go back to your room?” Nate asks while he loops his arm around Ray’s middle, letting his hand rest against his warm back.

“I probably should,” Ray responds, though the only movement he makes is down the bed a little more, which Nate follows, keeping his arm wrapped around Ray as they lay down beside each other.

Even if nothing else happens between them, Nate knows there is no good way to explain that he’s cuddling with Corporal Person, on his hotel bed, both shirtless. But he is tired, mentally and physically, and having Ray next to him makes him feel just a little less fucked up, and tonight, he has to embrace that feeling any way he can.

Ray’s eyes flutter shut for a moment before opening again, like he’s trying to stay awake despite himself.

“Thank you,” Nate says, hugging Ray tighter into him.

“For what?”

“For making me smile over there.”

Ray shifts just a little closer. He looks like he’s studying Nate’s face now, eyes taking in every inch of skin, and Nate really wants to know what Ray sees, or what he’s looking for.

Nate lets his thumb brush Ray’s cheek where there is still some discoloration from his burn.

That had been the only time Nate had let himself drop the wall between them while they had been over there. When Brad and Doc Bryan had found him to inform him that Ray had been burned by Rudy’s espresso maker, Nate hadn’t even thought to hide his concern, until Brad had given him a very pointed look. He’d known that had been Brad’s way of telling him to tone it down in front of other people, and it had been the first-time Nate had felt grateful for the fact that Brad knew everything. 

Still, despite Brad and Doc Bryan assuring him that Ray would be fine and that the burns wouldn’t leave lasting scars, Nate had still needed to examine Ray for himself. To touch him and see his face, to look into his eyes and see that Ray hadn’t just been claiming to be fine through some false sense of bravado or whatever he’d felt he needed to prove to the other guys.

But the short, barely secluded meeting had mostly just involved Nate’s hands shaking as he’d tried to find a place that he could touch Ray that was appropriate – he hadn’t been able to find one, so he’d spent the entire time just letting his hands hover over Ray’s face and arms and sides – while Ray quietly tried to comfort Nate and assure him that he was fine.

Nate had eventually shaken himself from his panic, realizing that he would not be acting this way if it had been any of his other men, so he’d taken Ray at his word, let the wall fall back down between them, and went to lie to his superior officers without even a hitch in his breath. 

But even with that imaginary wall that Nate had tried to pretend he was putting up, Ray had a way to get through it.

“Every time I felt like I was losing it, feeling too frustrated or getting too hung up on my choices, you always seemed to be right there doing something to make me smile,” Nate explains.

“I’m like the wartime jester,” Ray says with a grin.

Nate shakes his head. 

“No, it’s not just that. Even when you were just doing your job, or arguing with Brad, or I’d just look up and see you across a field, it always made me feel better.”

Ray begins to study him again and Nate can feel his face heat up, realizing what he’s just admitted.

“I-I know that you and I… I know that this was just supposed to be a one night stand.”

“One night and three-fourths of a day stand,” Ray corrects him

Nate grins despite himself.

“I know that we aren’t…anything. But, I feel like we could be, and I don’t know what to do about that, I just-“

Ray cuts him off with three fingers covering Nate’s lips, holding them there as he smiles, warmer than his regular smirk.

“I never did tell you, but I’m not re-upping. A couple more months and I’m out of the Marines.”

Nate can feel his heartbeat all of the sudden and he watches Ray’s eyes for a moment, waiting for Ray to remove his fingers before he says, “you’re out?”

Ray nods. “Figured it’s time to put away the sword and go back to my original plan of college. Probably out east somewhere.”

“You’re leaving California?”

Ray doesn’t dignify that obvious question with a response.

“So…” Nate doesn’t know why he’s having such a hard time processing this new information, he probably shouldn’t be so shocked that Ray is getting out, it’s not as though he’s a lifer like Brad or Mike. “What does this mean?”

“It means whatever you want it to mean, it means we’ll figure it out,” Ray says easily, watching him for almost a full minute before he turns in his arm, apparently ready to sleep now.

Nate presses himself against Ray’s back, letting his nose rest against the sensitive skin of Ray’s neck. He takes a deep breath and lets himself begin to drift off, his eyes feeling like they’re being sealed shut.

He falls asleep, and stays asleep for several hours this time, warm with the promise that Ray wants to figure it out. That there is even something for them to figure out.

 

Driving off the base for the last time, Nate feels a weight being lifted off his chest. He’ll miss the Corps, miss his men and the Marine’s he’d come to know as friends, he’ll miss the excitement of combat and the pride he’d felt at being a USMC officer. But he knows he’s made the right decision now, gotten out now knowing he has nothing left to offer the Corps, and it has nothing left to offer him.

He doesn’t turn on the radio as he drives, just enjoys the quiet and the rush of wind. Turning onto his street, he thinks of all the packing he needs to start on, but that can wait until tomorrow. 

Parking his car on the street, he doesn’t immediately notice the figure on the doorstep, not until he’s out of the car and about to start walking up.

He pauses when he sees Ray, sitting with his back against the door. Ray stands as Nate begins walking toward him again.

“You officially a civilian now?” Ray asks as he approaches.

Nate nods, not trusting himself to speak as he takes the last two strides he needs in order to reach out and grab Ray’s face, crashing their lips together in a move so desperate that Nate might feel embarrassed if not for Ray’s immediate reaction to it. His arms quickly wrap around Nate’s middle, pulling him in tighter, and a deep, desperate sound emits from his throat.

It’s been too many months since Ray had left Nate’s house as the one-night stand who’d turned into something much more to Nate, making Nate wonder if he was ever going to see him again, and regretting not finding out more about the guy. 

When he pulls away, he watches Ray’s dark eyes for just a moment before he begins fumbling with his keys to unlock the door.

“I was afraid you were gonna be all ‘now, we need to wait another six months to really let the suffering sink in’,” Ray says, maneuvering himself to Nate’s side as Nate pushes the door open.

He kisses Ray again, walking him backward toward the bedroom, murmuring promises of, “No more waiting,” between kisses as they go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
